The Bluebird Chronicles
by mfindlow
Summary: Transformative technology goes wrong, again.


A/N - Written for TW100 Challenge 343 - Blue

'I got attacked by a bluebird in the cells.' Owen said.

'I suppose it could've gotten in through the invisible lift,' Tosh mused.

'That's impossible.' Ianto replied. 'Bluebirds aren't native to Europe. The only bluebirds in Cardiff are the kind that play football.'

'Since when are you interested in football?'

'Unlike you, I grew up here. I also have a suspicion about your mystery bird.'

They all gathered down in the cells and watched the tiny bird.

Ianto held up two of his shirts, one red, one blue.

The bird flew over landing on the red shirt, chirping.

'Hello Jack.'

'How exactly did Jack end up a bird?'

'Screwing around with something he shouldn't have again?'

'Didn't you notice him missing earlier?'

'We all got home late last night. I don't think any of us was in a state to notice. And Jack's always disappearing,' Ianto said giving the bluebird an accusatory stare.

It chirped back defensively.

He wrapped his hand around it and placed it in a small cage, where it chirped even more angrily. 'Keep that up and Myfanwy will have you for a snack. If you won't be useful and help us fix this, then shut up.'

The little bird chirped endlessly to gain their attention. Gwen hated to admit it but it did a very good impression of ask barking orders at them.

'We need to be sure it's definitely him.'

'And how are we going to do that?' asked Owen, crossing his arms impatiently.

'Okay Jack. One chirp for yes and two for no. Got it?'

Chirp.

'Are you definitely Captain Jack Harkness?'

Chirp.

'Do you know what happened to you?'

Chirp chirp.

'Oh come on, Tosh, this could be a load of bollocks. Could just be coincidence. Ask him some real questions.'

'Like what?'

'Alright Harkness, supposing it's you, who's The Doctor?'

'That's not a yes/no question!' cried Gwen. 'How's he going to answer that?'

Jack pecked at the cage. Ianto reluctantly opened it.

Jack flew across the hub, over to the bubbling jar containing the doctor's hand and landed on top.

'Okay. Have you ever snogged any member of the team?'

He chirped once and flew over to perched on Ianto's shoulder.

'Right, last question. Would you shag me?'

'Good grief,' muttered Ianto.

A flurry of chirps followed. Owen rolled his eyes.

'I don't think we need a translator for that. It's him.'

'I've been tracking CCTV to determine what happened. So far I've traced back five hours, where he somehow got through security from level twelve archives and up to level four cells where Owen found him.'

'Right, where is he?' Gwen demanded. 'He's not in his cage and he's eaten my blueberry muffin! And if that's not bad enough, he was also kind enough to leave a little present in its place on my desk! So long as he's in this state, he's not leading Torchwood.'

'Don't make a sound,' Ianto whispered into his lapel. 'Your life may depend on it.'

Ianto arrived at his flat after a long day. They were still no closer to determining what had happened to Jack.

He unbuttoned his jacket and carefully scooped Jack out of his pocket where he'd been snoozing most of the afternoon.

'Fat lot of good you've been today. Nice for some to get some sleep after last night,' he moaned, putting Jack down on the corner of the pillow, before flopping onto the bed in an exhausted heap. Jack felt a twinge of remorse for the team's dilemma.

Ianto was already asleep when Jack moved to nestle against his hair.

When the alarm clock went off at six, Ianto didn't stir.

Jack had already been awake for hours, seemingly operating on bird time zone. As it was, he'd had to fight the urge to start chirping loudly at four in the morning. Chances were Ianto wouldn't have appreciated it, no matter how musically talented Jack seemed to be.

When the alarm went off again twenty minutes later and he still hadn't moved, Jack pecked at Ianto's nose. He received a grumble for his trouble and a hand that tried to whack him all the way to Newport.

Jack squawked indignantly.

That morning Jack was zipping about the flat, refreshed from so much sleep, and rather enjoying being able to fly around.

'If you keep that up, I'll tell Tosh you want to stay that way.'

A deflated chirp responded and he came to rest on the kitchen counter.

'So, breakfast? I'm guessing scrambled eggs are off the menu. Pancakes then? Not sure we should let you have coffee. Besides you seem hyperactive enough without.'

More enthusiastic chirping followed by something that sounded like agreement with his comment about eggs.

If he wasn't careful he might almost become fluent, thought Ianto.

After a week, the team fell into a familiar pattern.

Jack found he rather enjoyed the attentions of his team and their empathy at his current state.

He would ride around on Ianto's shoulder until he grew bored with whatever task Ianto was meticulously attending to.

He would sit on Tosh's desk where she would stroke his feathery chest, and toy with the tiny keyboard she was working on for him.

He put up with Owen's examinations and tests.

He'd even come to a truce with Gwen after the muffin incident, and she now happily shared her food with him.

When the rift alert came through, Gwen called the shots. She'd taken over as temporary leader and Jack seemed content to let her.

Ianto extracted Jack from his breast pocket.

'You stay here.'

Jack protested to no avail, Ianto's grip on him was firm but gentle.

'Jack you can't. If you get squashed in a struggle with a weevil I'd never forgive myself.'

'He's right, Jack,' Owen added, 'we have no idea even if your ability to regenerate still works in your current state.'

Jack continued his tirade and wasn't about to let up.

Begrudgingly they took him with them.

As they approached the alleyway Gwen pulled over. They all piled out of the SUV and began gearing up.

Just before they departed for their weevil chase, Ianto opened the SUV door and tossed Jack inside before quickly slamming the door shut.

'End of the road Jack. We'll handle things from here.'

He'd agreed to let Jack join them, he just hadn't said how far.

Jack squawked furiously as he flapped against the window.

'You know, it's altogether possible that he's an even more gung-ho pain in the arse now than when he was human.'

No one disagreed with Ianto.

When they had subdued the weevils and clambered back into the car it was a grumpy Jack that greeted them. He even had the cheek to peck sharply at the back of Ianto's ear, resulting in his prompt stuffing into the glove compartment.

It had all gone quiet as they reached the hub. Ianto suddenly worried that Jack may have suffocated.

'Jack?'

A small sulky chirp greeted him.

'Are you ready to accept the limitations of your current state?'

Another subdued chirp.

Ianto opened the flap. Even as a bird, he looked miserable.

'Don't worry Jack, Tosh will fix this.'

Eventually through careful cross-referencing their CCTV footage and archiving catalogues they were able to determine exactly where Jack had been and the device that had caused it.

Owen had offered up several white lab rats to experiment on until they were certain they'd gotten the reversal process correct.

How Jack had set it off and why he'd been down there remained a mystery. Gwen's research indicated that birds didn't have good memories.

Later, Ianto found newly cured Jack standing on one of his favourite roofs.

'Haven't you had enough of heights lately?'

'No, but this time I can share it.'


End file.
